"From Hollywood blockbusters to homegrown hits, most film fans want to see the latest movies on the big screen and will pay the eye-watering ticket and snack prices to watch them.
But sometimes, just sometimes, you encounter certain cinemagoers that seem hell-bent on ruining the big screen experience.
We present the people to avoid (and who we should avoid being) at the cinema:
The latecomers
You’re settled in, you have your snacks and, as the film starts, you’ve managed to find a perfect view complete with an empty seat in front of you. Cue an escalating, rustling noise before the tallest person in the room plops himself down in front, ten minutes into the film.
Another annoying situation with latecomers is when they eye a seat on the same row as you, and you have to make that decision – do I stand up to let him past, which only gets the people behind you annoyed, or do I try that leaning backwards thing, which manages to create just an extra inch of space that is essentially meaningless unless they’re as thin as a catwalk model?
The seat kickers
Surround sound is a must, the bigger the screen the better and if you want to throw some 3D glasses on to get more of a buzz, fine. Atmosphere is essential to the cinema experience – your seat being knocked back and forth by the person behind you isn’t. And why the dirty looks when you tell the kid off for doing it?
The talkers
If anyone talks during an important scene while watching a film at home you can pause at will, or try the less subtle "shut up!" approach. Unless you know for certain you can shout at a complete stranger without fear of your actions leading you straight to the hospital, how do you deal with the talkers? (or the laughers -you know the ones; they fill the cinema with half shouting, half loud spluttering every time their favourite comedy actor utters anything).
The popcorn munchers
Maybe it’s because the food is so expensive that you just want to make the most of it, but do you really need to munch the popcorn that loud? And if the munchers aren’t crunching popcorn like Godzilla eating a tanker truck, you’ll get the inevitable throwing of it instead. Not that popcorn is the only guilty foodstuff capable of ruining your night at the cinema – hello slurping cola drinkers. And talk about surround sound, but cinemas now stock the crunchiest nachos ever heard. Thanks, multiplexes!
The movie spoiler
My name is Martin Howden and I am a movie spoiler. It was never meant to happen. I just got so excited about working out the twist to ‘The Sixth Sense’ early on (sooooo obvious by the way) that I had to show off to my friend. And to the entire row, as well as a few people behind and in front of me. Just as I ‘whispered’ ‘Bruce Willis is a ghost’, there was a sudden quiet moment. And then I began to plot my exit from the cinema as quickly as possible.
The mobile phoners
Exactly the same as the talkers, but with added ignorance. Their phone rings. Not even on the vibrating option, but the one with a forgotten pop song from two months ago. Either one of two things will happen – the phone user will spend around a minute trying to find said phone, working himself into a fuss mumbling Hugh Grant-esque apologies. Or, they’ll brazenly acknowledge said ringing with no apology, and go on to answer the call. And. Talk. During. The. Film. Do they not understand the No Mobile Phone warning at the start of the film?
They probably arrived late."
We present the people to avoid (and who we should avoid being) at the cinema:
The latecomers
You’re settled in, you have your snacks and, as the film starts, you’ve managed to find a perfect view complete with an empty seat in front of you. Cue an escalating, rustling noise before the tallest person in the room plops himself down in front, ten minutes into the film.
Another annoying situation with latecomers is when they eye a seat on the same row as you, and you have to make that decision – do I stand up to let him past, which only gets the people behind you annoyed, or do I try that leaning backwards thing, which manages to create just an extra inch of space that is essentially meaningless unless they’re as thin as a catwalk model?
The seat kickers
Surround sound is a must, the bigger the screen the better and if you want to throw some 3D glasses on to get more of a buzz, fine. Atmosphere is essential to the cinema experience – your seat being knocked back and forth by the person behind you isn’t. And why the dirty looks when you tell the kid off for doing it?
The talkers
If anyone talks during an important scene while watching a film at home you can pause at will, or try the less subtle "shut up!" approach. Unless you know for certain you can shout at a complete stranger without fear of your actions leading you straight to the hospital, how do you deal with the talkers? (or the laughers -you know the ones; they fill the cinema with half shouting, half loud spluttering every time their favourite comedy actor utters anything).
The popcorn munchers
Maybe it’s because the food is so expensive that you just want to make the most of it, but do you really need to munch the popcorn that loud? And if the munchers aren’t crunching popcorn like Godzilla eating a tanker truck, you’ll get the inevitable throwing of it instead. Not that popcorn is the only guilty foodstuff capable of ruining your night at the cinema – hello slurping cola drinkers. And talk about surround sound, but cinemas now stock the crunchiest nachos ever heard. Thanks, multiplexes!
The movie spoiler
My name is Martin Howden and I am a movie spoiler. It was never meant to happen. I just got so excited about working out the twist to ‘The Sixth Sense’ early on (sooooo obvious by the way) that I had to show off to my friend. And to the entire row, as well as a few people behind and in front of me. Just as I ‘whispered’ ‘Bruce Willis is a ghost’, there was a sudden quiet moment. And then I began to plot my exit from the cinema as quickly as possible.
The mobile phoners
Exactly the same as the talkers, but with added ignorance. Their phone rings. Not even on the vibrating option, but the one with a forgotten pop song from two months ago. Either one of two things will happen – the phone user will spend around a minute trying to find said phone, working himself into a fuss mumbling Hugh Grant-esque apologies. Or, they’ll brazenly acknowledge said ringing with no apology, and go on to answer the call. And. Talk. During. The. Film. Do they not understand the No Mobile Phone warning at the start of the film?
They probably arrived late."
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