"It's a predictable Roo-fest in today's papers as the British press wonder what the next step is for Manchester United - and Sir Alex Ferguson - following the inevitable exit of Wayne Rooney.
You don’t have to be interested in football to know that - off the back of a rotten World Cup - the out-of-form, half-fit Rooney has asked to leave Old Trafford.
Following Fergie’s agreement to an exit provided there was "no nonsense from the lad" there has indeed been nonsense, with Rooney on the pitch in name only and publicly questioning his manager off it, leading the wily old Scot to explain that he asked to quit the club as early as August 14.
The left-wing Daily Mirror tabloid has gone so far as to make it the front-page lead, which is strange given a double Tory whammy of sweeping budget cuts and a hospitalised Maggie Thatcher.
"Roo Greedy Fool", it yelps, adding that the England striker has "no Roospect" as he engineers an £80 million transfer.
The Daily Star speculates that the split could lead a "shattered and emotional" Sir Alex to quit management after realising that the gaffer is no longer number one - even at Old Trafford.
An "out of control" Roo thinks he’s "above the law" and has "betrayed" United, according to Star columnist Brian Woolnough. He "owes them an explanation" after provoking an "irretrievable split".
All the above griping skirts over the fact that exactly the same thing happened when Rooney left Everton for United a few years back. Karma has a funny way of nipping away at you, and if Rooney does indeed buy his contract out for £5m using the Webster-Arrest clause then United will have been well and truly bitten.
So, what next?
First off, who to sell him to? Pretty much every rag has trotted out the usual suspects of Real Madrid, Barcelona, Internazionale and (gulp) Manchester City as, frankly, only they can afford them, although realistically Inter cannot compete because they lack the sugar daddy of City or Chelsea, or the tax-breaks given to foreign players in Spain.
We can discount Harry Redknapp’s cheeky coveting of the player, while whispers of Liverpool’s new owners preparing a headline-grabbing coup are nothing short of ridiculous given their footballing predicament.
The Star claims that Rooney has already decided where he wants to go - City - while the Daily Mail reckons Chelsea will loosen the purse-strings once more with Roman Abramovich ready to make him the world’s highest-paid player.
The concern that he may switch to United’s bitter city rivals is raised by the Daily Express too, which claims they will give him £250,000 a week (a quarter of a million!!) over five years.
The Mirror sagely points out that, while the Eastlands club may be able to double or triple his wages, his strength as a brand and therefore his overall earning power will be damaged, meaning he will make less overall - a posh-sounding sponsorship guru called Rupert said so.
If indeed it’s all about cash, he would best be served by a move to Barcelona or Real Madrid, because foreign executives (including footballers) pay half the income tax they would in the UK or indeed anywhere else in the civilised world.
This means that Madrid, for example, would only need to offer him £150,000 a week to match City’s £230-250k, and that’s without the bumper image and sponsorship cuts he will get at the world’s biggest club (sorry United).
The Sun agrees in part, pointing out that Jose Mourinho’s claim that Rooney would stay at United was tempered by a cheeky aside to call him if things don’t work out.
The same paper’s famed United 'insider' also claims that "we'll do everything possible to stop (a sale to City)", adding that - despite having the likes of David Villa and Lionel Messi at the club - Barcelona could be in for Rooney after Pep Guardiola hailed him as "one of the greatest players in the world". They seem to forget though that Barca are in a similar cashflow position to United, and are in the process of suing the former board over financial mismanagement. Oops.
The Mail also reckons that Fergie is keen to drive the transfer to Madrid or Barca so as to prevent a Premier League rival exploiting his loss. Their resident sage, the ever-wise Martin Samuel, fires a warning shot to Rooney about joining City.
"Sol Campbell was not out and about in North London at the time he exchanged Tottenham Hotspur for
Arsenal. He could disappear to a part of the city where nobody cared what colour his shirt was. Manchester-based players, like those in Liverpool and Glasgow, do not have this option."
Our conclusion? A head-to-head between City and Madrid, with Madrid offered a discount to shoo City away while Garry and the Arabs throw in a private security team as part of their deal.
Secondly, who would replace him? Assuming United get the £70m+ mooted by most papers, whoever the heck Fergie wants.
A factor favouring a Madrid move is that they have additional collateral - top players - that would sweeten a transfer (Mail).
United have always liked bench-warming France striker Karim Benzema, while Gonzalo Higuain would be the man who makes way for Rooney in the first XI.
They could also ask for Kaka, with Ferguson keen for some creativity in a midfield over-reliant on the flagging legs of Paul Scholes.
The thing is though that United far prefer signing relative unknowns for smaller fees and developing them into big stars, getting value prospects and coaching them into greats.
And with £70m (minus the £10m commission paid to Everton) they could create a whole new generation at the club.
Hopefully that’s enough of Rooney for now."
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